Hello dear friends. I wanted to share with you a passage that has been rocking me lately and I hope it encourages you today.
John 13:1 says, "Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that His hour had come that he should depart from this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end." I love this passage, particularly the bolded part. It is so beautiful to me. Think about it with me.
This is the same chapter where Jesus identifies his betrayer and tells Peter, his most exuberant disciple, that he will deny him thrice before the rooster crows. His time in the world is not long at this point. Jesus goes on to teach for a few more chapters before his arrest but I find it so interesting that this is how the chapter starts. I think this passage is a beautiful expression of both Jesus' humanness and Godliness. Jesus knows in his heart his time is short and so he takes this time (chapters 13-17) to spend time with those whom he dearly loves. He spends it imparting wisdom, feasting, and teaching them lessons that will serve them for the rest of their lives. That is the Godly part of him being revealed. I can appreciate the Godly part because his words affect my life today. It is the human part though that resonates. With his time short on the earth, Jesus chooses those who walk with him over anyone else. They are his disciples yes. But they are his friends as well. He loved them with his dying breath.
Now I know of course that Jesus' love is eternal and he has always and will always love his disciples as well as all of us. The human part of him loves his friends like we love our friends. To the end. And I love that. To me it shows that he how human he was. Sometimes I think when reading through the gospels I forget that beyond the miracles and red letter words is a human. I love this passage because it explicitly says that He loves us to the end. To the end of our lives or the end of eternity he loves us to the end. This passage served as a gentle reminder that I am a little like my savior because I love my friends to the end as well. The end of my life or this season I am in. I don't know if this is encouraging but I hope it will be.
God Bless y'all
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Monday, September 16, 2013
God of Miracles
Some times, when life gets a little hectic, we just need a miracle. Something small or large from the Lord that tells me that he hasn't forgotten me. This morning I prayed for a miracle. I needed something. I was and am feeling more than a little bit under the weather. Being sick makes me tired and cranky like it does most people. Its also when I am sick that often I forget to include my Creator in how bad I feel. I sometimes think that the Lord does not have time to make sick Zach better. He has got wars, revivals and the like to worry about.
This morning I just needed something. A little bit of God. Just a shade of attention. A reminder of his providence and unfailing love because I am human. I forget that I forget that, per psalm 139, that even if I make my home in the depths of the ocean, He is there and his righteous right hand upholds me. When I am sick an found wanting that my Savior is there, offering completion in Him.
There are times when my soul and my spirit cry out louder than my voice. Today was one of those times. The depth of my depravity overwhelms me sometimes. There are mornings when I wake up and can barely face the day. There are days when I do not feel like I can continue on in the everyday dredge that is life sometimes. This morning though, the Lord offered me hope in the smallest way, but a way that meant the most.
This morning I breathlessly called out to the Lord for a miracle. My voice was not actually involved. My spirit, my very aching heart called out to the Lord for a display of how good He is. I was on the verge of packing the day in and trying again tomorrow. I went for lunch and, in what is a hazard of having to bank accounts, used the wrong card to pay for food. The transaction didn't go through and I was left standing there trying to figure out why my card didn't work. Sixty seconds later, a friend that I did not see in line comes out of no where and pays for my food. They wished me a good day and walked away. Now I sit here writing this, worshiping my God and thanking Him for thinking of me. It was a small yet needed reminder that I am never far from Him. Even when I feel that way, like today, I just need to look up and see him providing for my needs. The Lord showed me my growth in desire for him. My Father in heaven, in one act, breathed life into me. He whispered "I love you my son" to me and smiled. Warmth filled me as realization of what is true overtook the crushing lies of the evil one. Jesus loves me this I know; and I wanted to share it with you.
God Bless
This morning I just needed something. A little bit of God. Just a shade of attention. A reminder of his providence and unfailing love because I am human. I forget that I forget that, per psalm 139, that even if I make my home in the depths of the ocean, He is there and his righteous right hand upholds me. When I am sick an found wanting that my Savior is there, offering completion in Him.
There are times when my soul and my spirit cry out louder than my voice. Today was one of those times. The depth of my depravity overwhelms me sometimes. There are mornings when I wake up and can barely face the day. There are days when I do not feel like I can continue on in the everyday dredge that is life sometimes. This morning though, the Lord offered me hope in the smallest way, but a way that meant the most.
This morning I breathlessly called out to the Lord for a miracle. My voice was not actually involved. My spirit, my very aching heart called out to the Lord for a display of how good He is. I was on the verge of packing the day in and trying again tomorrow. I went for lunch and, in what is a hazard of having to bank accounts, used the wrong card to pay for food. The transaction didn't go through and I was left standing there trying to figure out why my card didn't work. Sixty seconds later, a friend that I did not see in line comes out of no where and pays for my food. They wished me a good day and walked away. Now I sit here writing this, worshiping my God and thanking Him for thinking of me. It was a small yet needed reminder that I am never far from Him. Even when I feel that way, like today, I just need to look up and see him providing for my needs. The Lord showed me my growth in desire for him. My Father in heaven, in one act, breathed life into me. He whispered "I love you my son" to me and smiled. Warmth filled me as realization of what is true overtook the crushing lies of the evil one. Jesus loves me this I know; and I wanted to share it with you.
God Bless
Monday, September 9, 2013
Hopelessness Is A Lie
I woke up this morning with a splitting headache. It actually began last night. Have you ever been fed up with a situation? Or a person even? Maybe it is their problems that you are fed up with. Far too often I have been fed up recently. This bothers me a great deal because if I am short on compassion then there is a short circuit elsewhere.
When this happens, often I just need a lesson in love from my ever steady and loving Father. Other times, like this time, I have become so "me" centered that I no longer have the capacity for compassion on my friends.
One of Satan's great tools is discouragement. If he cannot disrupt your ministry as a believer directly, he will go the indirect route. As believers, and really as humans, we thrive upon hope. Hope for a better life, an improved station in life, brighter circumstances, the fading of night and the coming light of morning. Hope is central in each of our lives when it comes to loving and especially having compassion. Hope tells us that while things might be bad in our lives or another's life that we are involved in, through companionship, fellowship, and prayer, there is another side to the madness. The example could be someone struggling with cancer. But it could also be roommates fighting and being snarky. Major or minor, hope can guide us home in these situations.
Hopelessness though sneaks in life a thief in the night. All it takes is feeling overwhelmed and loosing sight that the Lord is good. Just long enough for the idea of their being "no end" to take root, for us to begin to worry. Over time we begin to believe the lie. The lie says,
"No matter the problem, big or small, that person wont change, this situation is insurmountable. Don't bother with trying to help, no, don't even bother with praying. God is not big enough for this."
It sounds ridiculous when spelled out but these very words have been spoken to us all at one point in time. Of the above examples I have experienced both. I have checked out before. Hopelessness is powerful and nearly claimed my life. It steals love because love is full of purpose. It captures compassion because you are fed up with trying to love in the midst of hopelessness.
The truth is that we must hold fast to hope and choose joy. Having once been in a situation where I had been given a death date I can say that my God is bigger than death because that date passed over 4 years ago and I am still here writing these words. He is bigger than roommate disagreements because the Lord turned that living situation into one of the favorite times in my college career.
My prayer is that anyone who happens to read this will take a second and remember all that the Lord has done. Look back at His faithfulness and then look forward at the problems you are facing. We must be like the people of Israel and be people who remember what the Lord has done. His power is greater and if it was greater once it will be so again. We must remember how great his love was once if we can then reciprocate it. Hopelessness is a lie. Tell it so and cast it out. Then walk in love and compassion as our Father does.
God Bless
When this happens, often I just need a lesson in love from my ever steady and loving Father. Other times, like this time, I have become so "me" centered that I no longer have the capacity for compassion on my friends.
One of Satan's great tools is discouragement. If he cannot disrupt your ministry as a believer directly, he will go the indirect route. As believers, and really as humans, we thrive upon hope. Hope for a better life, an improved station in life, brighter circumstances, the fading of night and the coming light of morning. Hope is central in each of our lives when it comes to loving and especially having compassion. Hope tells us that while things might be bad in our lives or another's life that we are involved in, through companionship, fellowship, and prayer, there is another side to the madness. The example could be someone struggling with cancer. But it could also be roommates fighting and being snarky. Major or minor, hope can guide us home in these situations.
Hopelessness though sneaks in life a thief in the night. All it takes is feeling overwhelmed and loosing sight that the Lord is good. Just long enough for the idea of their being "no end" to take root, for us to begin to worry. Over time we begin to believe the lie. The lie says,
"No matter the problem, big or small, that person wont change, this situation is insurmountable. Don't bother with trying to help, no, don't even bother with praying. God is not big enough for this."
It sounds ridiculous when spelled out but these very words have been spoken to us all at one point in time. Of the above examples I have experienced both. I have checked out before. Hopelessness is powerful and nearly claimed my life. It steals love because love is full of purpose. It captures compassion because you are fed up with trying to love in the midst of hopelessness.
The truth is that we must hold fast to hope and choose joy. Having once been in a situation where I had been given a death date I can say that my God is bigger than death because that date passed over 4 years ago and I am still here writing these words. He is bigger than roommate disagreements because the Lord turned that living situation into one of the favorite times in my college career.
My prayer is that anyone who happens to read this will take a second and remember all that the Lord has done. Look back at His faithfulness and then look forward at the problems you are facing. We must be like the people of Israel and be people who remember what the Lord has done. His power is greater and if it was greater once it will be so again. We must remember how great his love was once if we can then reciprocate it. Hopelessness is a lie. Tell it so and cast it out. Then walk in love and compassion as our Father does.
God Bless
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Things Left Unsaid
The major focus of this year, both privately (my life) and publically (Wesley) is making disciples. this has been for my entire walk with the Lord been the weakest and often most nonexistent part of my walk with the Lord. Where passion should be is selfish negligence.
Of course I care about other people and their souls and want for all of us to be in heaven together. But if I am honest, what I mean to say is that I hope you can find it salvation on your own. The past two years have been a struggle spiritually. I have seen a lot of growth and a lot of good. The old man is being put to death and the new me is rising from the ashes of sin. Making disciples though is rough stuff. I don't like to be out of my comfort zone.
The Lord, in his patient and loving grace, gently convicts me still. He convicts me of my complacency. He ever so gently shows me how much his grace means to me when I forget myself. Against his wise instruction I look to the right and the left after He told me to keep my eyes straight ahead. Like the shepherd rescuing me from the lion or bear though, he leads me back and celebrates my return.
Today the Lord convicted me of all the times I have passed up sharing the Good News with my friends. The things I have said. The bumbling excuses and evasions. The paralyzing fear of rejection from someone I care deeply for.
I had a friend die my junior year of high school. Zohaib Somani. He had been a good friend for years at that point. My partner in crime in whatever class we had together. Those details are lost to time now. I remember hearing about his death. It happened late one night. I woke up to the news. In what seemed like a blur, it had been a week. Even at his funeral I hadn't mourned his death. The gut punch of reality telling me my time was shorter than I thought it was. What ate at me more than anything though, and eventually brought me to tears, was that I didn't know, for sure, if I would see him in heaven. I was a very young Christian and had just assumed that Gods grace covered everything. He was Muslim though. Not a Christian. I had heard him talk about God before, often in a derogatory manner and thought that as long I didn't laugh things were okay. I blamed myself.
I know of course that I have no fault in the matter. What I did have and still do have was and is conviction. For months I thought of things I could've said to him. Instead of pitiful silence when he blasphemed the God who saved my life I had what if I had told him how precious He is to me. What if I had told him the story of my life. The Lord preformed a straight up biblical miracle in my life. I knew a love that surpassed my wildest imagination. These things were left unsaid.
Coming back to the present, these thoughts still stick with me. I am not the perfect witness. I still sin. In the last 7 days I have struggled with lust, forgiveness, bitterness, anger, retaliation, gossip, pure thoughts...the list goes on. I think of the people I want to know the Lord but have always avoided talking until it was easy. The Lord always convicts me of my imperfections. Not to shame me but instead to show me how qualified I am. I am not a sinner in His eyes. I am His beloved. His son. Heir to His throne. My life is a miracle that does speaks for itself. I do not have to offer a defense for my life. All I need to do is trust and speak
Of course I care about other people and their souls and want for all of us to be in heaven together. But if I am honest, what I mean to say is that I hope you can find it salvation on your own. The past two years have been a struggle spiritually. I have seen a lot of growth and a lot of good. The old man is being put to death and the new me is rising from the ashes of sin. Making disciples though is rough stuff. I don't like to be out of my comfort zone.
The Lord, in his patient and loving grace, gently convicts me still. He convicts me of my complacency. He ever so gently shows me how much his grace means to me when I forget myself. Against his wise instruction I look to the right and the left after He told me to keep my eyes straight ahead. Like the shepherd rescuing me from the lion or bear though, he leads me back and celebrates my return.
Today the Lord convicted me of all the times I have passed up sharing the Good News with my friends. The things I have said. The bumbling excuses and evasions. The paralyzing fear of rejection from someone I care deeply for.
I had a friend die my junior year of high school. Zohaib Somani. He had been a good friend for years at that point. My partner in crime in whatever class we had together. Those details are lost to time now. I remember hearing about his death. It happened late one night. I woke up to the news. In what seemed like a blur, it had been a week. Even at his funeral I hadn't mourned his death. The gut punch of reality telling me my time was shorter than I thought it was. What ate at me more than anything though, and eventually brought me to tears, was that I didn't know, for sure, if I would see him in heaven. I was a very young Christian and had just assumed that Gods grace covered everything. He was Muslim though. Not a Christian. I had heard him talk about God before, often in a derogatory manner and thought that as long I didn't laugh things were okay. I blamed myself.
I know of course that I have no fault in the matter. What I did have and still do have was and is conviction. For months I thought of things I could've said to him. Instead of pitiful silence when he blasphemed the God who saved my life I had what if I had told him how precious He is to me. What if I had told him the story of my life. The Lord preformed a straight up biblical miracle in my life. I knew a love that surpassed my wildest imagination. These things were left unsaid.
Coming back to the present, these thoughts still stick with me. I am not the perfect witness. I still sin. In the last 7 days I have struggled with lust, forgiveness, bitterness, anger, retaliation, gossip, pure thoughts...the list goes on. I think of the people I want to know the Lord but have always avoided talking until it was easy. The Lord always convicts me of my imperfections. Not to shame me but instead to show me how qualified I am. I am not a sinner in His eyes. I am His beloved. His son. Heir to His throne. My life is a miracle that does speaks for itself. I do not have to offer a defense for my life. All I need to do is trust and speak
Friday, August 2, 2013
The Perfect Thanks
My last post was pretty emo. I had been in something like a 2 week funk because who I am was being attacked and I, at the time, chose isolation over the Lord which only led to more funk. Praise Him that I am out of that now.
As I have been doing some spring(ish) cleaning in my heart the last few days I have been looking at the truth of what the Lord has done and is doing in my life. I cannot argue his intervention or his blessings. Especially in contrast to the lies Satan has been feeding me, they stand bright as the noon day sun. For instance, I was once told that I would not live to go to college. I had, as well as my family, an incurable disease that would result in my death. The Lord healed me and my family. I am nearly 23 now, which is nearly 5 years past my expiration date. The Lord has healed and is healing the relationships within my family. Everything I have now is because of the Lord and no other reason. It was not human medicine or reason that saved my life and my soul. It was God.
Obviously, I am extremely thankful that the Lord intervened in my life. I have often said that I cannot thank the Lord enough for all that he has done and is doing. Saying I cannot thank the Lord enough implies debt though, and my debt has been paid. So what is the correct way to thank the Lord for intervening in my life? I found that answer this morning in Psalm 116:1. It reads,
"I LOVE the Lord, because He has heard my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, Therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live."
"I Love the Lord" is the perfect thank you. It is the exact response that Gods heart desires. After all, He sent His ONLY son to become a curse and die for my sins so that the Chasm that entered between Him and us in the garden would be no more. That chasm was my sin. He conquered it like the hero I have always wanted in my life. He did it for love. To show his love and, hopefully, have us love him back. He is a Jealous God who desires us to Love him. SO much so that He asks for us to abandon everything for Him. Every idol, every worldly thing so that we would love him completely. He died so that the greatest love story ever told could be finished.
When he intervenes in our lives, he does not need a grand prayer of thanks full of many words. Our works and words could never be enough to even equal the gravity of what He has done. That is why, "I LOVE the Lord" is perfect. It fulfills royal law (Matthew 22:37-38) and fulfills the desire of the Lords heart. Wrapped up in those four words is the expression of a relationship and the promise of our spirits to the Lord that he has in mind at the dawn of time. With those four words, we welcome the Lord into our hearts and complete the relationship he has spent eternity creating. It is the perfect thanks.
Marshall
As I have been doing some spring(ish) cleaning in my heart the last few days I have been looking at the truth of what the Lord has done and is doing in my life. I cannot argue his intervention or his blessings. Especially in contrast to the lies Satan has been feeding me, they stand bright as the noon day sun. For instance, I was once told that I would not live to go to college. I had, as well as my family, an incurable disease that would result in my death. The Lord healed me and my family. I am nearly 23 now, which is nearly 5 years past my expiration date. The Lord has healed and is healing the relationships within my family. Everything I have now is because of the Lord and no other reason. It was not human medicine or reason that saved my life and my soul. It was God.
Obviously, I am extremely thankful that the Lord intervened in my life. I have often said that I cannot thank the Lord enough for all that he has done and is doing. Saying I cannot thank the Lord enough implies debt though, and my debt has been paid. So what is the correct way to thank the Lord for intervening in my life? I found that answer this morning in Psalm 116:1. It reads,
"I LOVE the Lord, because He has heard my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, Therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live."
"I Love the Lord" is the perfect thank you. It is the exact response that Gods heart desires. After all, He sent His ONLY son to become a curse and die for my sins so that the Chasm that entered between Him and us in the garden would be no more. That chasm was my sin. He conquered it like the hero I have always wanted in my life. He did it for love. To show his love and, hopefully, have us love him back. He is a Jealous God who desires us to Love him. SO much so that He asks for us to abandon everything for Him. Every idol, every worldly thing so that we would love him completely. He died so that the greatest love story ever told could be finished.
When he intervenes in our lives, he does not need a grand prayer of thanks full of many words. Our works and words could never be enough to even equal the gravity of what He has done. That is why, "I LOVE the Lord" is perfect. It fulfills royal law (Matthew 22:37-38) and fulfills the desire of the Lords heart. Wrapped up in those four words is the expression of a relationship and the promise of our spirits to the Lord that he has in mind at the dawn of time. With those four words, we welcome the Lord into our hearts and complete the relationship he has spent eternity creating. It is the perfect thanks.
Marshall
Thursday, July 25, 2013
One Thing Consists of Consistence, And It's That We're All Battling Fear
Its certainly nothing profound to say that we are struggle with fear. Fear is the most innate emotion humans have. According to places on the internet (to lazy to cite anything this morning) Humans are born with a fear of heights and of loud or sudden noises. If I were more pessimistic I could even say that we spend the entirety of life becoming afraid of more things. Anyway, back to me.
I have spent the better part of a week now being in fear of...well...what I perceive to be my calling. I believe that I have been called to be a warrior in the war on truth. I believe that I am an ambassador for the Kingdom of God just like every believer. I believe that, along with the great commission that I am learning to live out, I am to stand for the Truth as scripture has it. I may have done a poor job explaining that but I do not want to get to far off topic. To sum it up, absolute truth of the kingdom is under assault and I believe I am called to stand against false teachings and lies. I also believe this stand against all that is false is in the job description for all Christians due to the multiple urgings in the New testament to stand against false teachers and teachings.
Anyway, back to fear. This fear began with watching how The Zimmerman trial divided the country. I watched as it practically became criminal to agree with the verdict and as my friends tore each other apart. As I have grown up, having an opinion is now the right we all have. The issue is though that having an opinion doesn't mean you are right. An opinion can be wrong. I have heard a number of times people say that, when confronted with truth or a differing opinion, "Well you believe what you believe and I'll believe what I believe." It is a prideful statement. Truth has become relevant and it does not seem to bother anyone. Truth is absolute. There is right and there is wrong with no in-between. This makes for hard, unpopular decisions and divides many. With what I have written so far I have no doubt raised objections in whoever might be reading this. Society has turned the pursuit of truth into the pursuit of whatever helps us stomach our lives.
This is what scares me. I hate that something that seems so simple to me for whatever reason divides friends and destroys relationships. If speaking truth is so inflammatory, EVEN AMONG CHRISTIANS, MY OWN BROTHERS AND SISTERS, then why do it? How do I do it? Geez how does anyone do it?
I am familiar with the scriptures where Jesus says they hated him first and stuff. I understand standing for things that are true alienates you from the world. I guess the Zimmerman stuff just brought it to the forefront of my mind. Over a year ago when the it all went down, I thought it was clear cut what happened and forgot about it. Next thing I know there is a trial and protests. I find out our president has egregiously spoken out of place concerning the trial. Now people and celebrities are boycotting THE STATE OF FLORIDA. In the words of Stewie Griffen, "What the hell man!"
All due to different perceptions of truth that people have and an unwillingness to accept fact. Probably the only thing more inflammatory than race is religion, right where I believe the purpose of my life is parked. I am probably just overwhelmed. I wish there was more love in the world more than ever before. Maybe I am just waking up. I do not know. I do know that I am missing community in a bad way. I do know that I am forever sided with God and His Kingdom, and that one day, God willing a long time away, it will mean my death. And that is fine. The Lord is just breaking me in I think.
I could use your prayers and even your thoughts. This post seems jumbled but it is really just an accurate representation of how my mind has been the last week. Thank you for taking the time to read.
In Him,
Marshall
I have spent the better part of a week now being in fear of...well...what I perceive to be my calling. I believe that I have been called to be a warrior in the war on truth. I believe that I am an ambassador for the Kingdom of God just like every believer. I believe that, along with the great commission that I am learning to live out, I am to stand for the Truth as scripture has it. I may have done a poor job explaining that but I do not want to get to far off topic. To sum it up, absolute truth of the kingdom is under assault and I believe I am called to stand against false teachings and lies. I also believe this stand against all that is false is in the job description for all Christians due to the multiple urgings in the New testament to stand against false teachers and teachings.
Anyway, back to fear. This fear began with watching how The Zimmerman trial divided the country. I watched as it practically became criminal to agree with the verdict and as my friends tore each other apart. As I have grown up, having an opinion is now the right we all have. The issue is though that having an opinion doesn't mean you are right. An opinion can be wrong. I have heard a number of times people say that, when confronted with truth or a differing opinion, "Well you believe what you believe and I'll believe what I believe." It is a prideful statement. Truth has become relevant and it does not seem to bother anyone. Truth is absolute. There is right and there is wrong with no in-between. This makes for hard, unpopular decisions and divides many. With what I have written so far I have no doubt raised objections in whoever might be reading this. Society has turned the pursuit of truth into the pursuit of whatever helps us stomach our lives.
This is what scares me. I hate that something that seems so simple to me for whatever reason divides friends and destroys relationships. If speaking truth is so inflammatory, EVEN AMONG CHRISTIANS, MY OWN BROTHERS AND SISTERS, then why do it? How do I do it? Geez how does anyone do it?
I am familiar with the scriptures where Jesus says they hated him first and stuff. I understand standing for things that are true alienates you from the world. I guess the Zimmerman stuff just brought it to the forefront of my mind. Over a year ago when the it all went down, I thought it was clear cut what happened and forgot about it. Next thing I know there is a trial and protests. I find out our president has egregiously spoken out of place concerning the trial. Now people and celebrities are boycotting THE STATE OF FLORIDA. In the words of Stewie Griffen, "What the hell man!"
All due to different perceptions of truth that people have and an unwillingness to accept fact. Probably the only thing more inflammatory than race is religion, right where I believe the purpose of my life is parked. I am probably just overwhelmed. I wish there was more love in the world more than ever before. Maybe I am just waking up. I do not know. I do know that I am missing community in a bad way. I do know that I am forever sided with God and His Kingdom, and that one day, God willing a long time away, it will mean my death. And that is fine. The Lord is just breaking me in I think.
I could use your prayers and even your thoughts. This post seems jumbled but it is really just an accurate representation of how my mind has been the last week. Thank you for taking the time to read.
In Him,
Marshall
Monday, July 1, 2013
Good Will Hunting
Before I get to it I will go ahead and alert you that this is not a review of the movie Good Will Hunting. I love this movie.
I put this movie on tonight as I reheated Taco Bell and made some decaf coffee. Dinner of champions I assure you. I really just wanted to hear the apples joke as told by Matt Damon. That scene happens something like 20-25 minutes into the movie so after that I was just a captive audience. I did not expect to learn so much about myself this time around in watching.
In short, I realized that, in a lot of ways, I really identify with the character Will Hunting. Granted i am no genius who sees equations and "just gets it". I identify more with his psyche.
At one point, Will and Robin Williams character are chatting at the park. This is directly following a stunning display of arrogance from Will and ended with Williams hand on Will's throat. Williams begins to lecture Will on the things he does not know. For instance, Williams says that he could ask Will about Art and Will would probably quote the latest thoughts published in the most recent books. But Williams points out that Will cannot describe the way the Sistine Chapel smells. Williams could ask about Love and Will might quote a sonnet. But Will does not know what it means to be truly known by someone. He does not know what it means to love someone so deeply that she could ruin his world with her eyes. I will come back to this. One more story.
The second scene comes a bit later in the movie after Will and Williams have been chatting about what Will wants from life. At this point, Will is receiving all sorts of job interviews with the most prestigious companies in the world. They all want his mind but Will does not want any of them. Williams keeps pressing Will with the question, "What do you want?" Will does not know, gets defensive and leaves. That night, Will is with the girl he has been seeing, Skylar, and they are in bed laughing and kissing and talking. Skylar asks Will to come to California with her when she starts school at Stanford. Will is scared and they begin to fight. His anger is explosive. Skylar is confessing her love to him. Will cannot stop seeing the negatives as he looks forward at their possible future together. She tells him that if he says that he does not love her she will leave him alone. As a viewer, it is obvious Will loves her. Will though says he does not and departs, leaving Skylar collapsed sobbing.
Will is afraid. Because of his fear he chooses a dead end life in South Boston rather than using his extraordinary mind to do something incredible. Because of his fear he is scared to love, to be vulnerable. This is what I identify with. There is a measured about of fear in my life that I am well aware exists. I even hide my fear in ways that are similar to Will Hunting though, obviously not identical because I do not possess his intellect. But I have a know it all attitude when it pertains to things I know or think I know. I tend to alienate those close to me, or at least I used to. Praise the Lord he has changed me some over the years. This fear is an issue though. I have a great calling just like Will does in the movie. My great calling is serving the Kingdom of God. I am a Warrior in His kingdom. (My name means warrior). But I am afraid. I have even seen the old anger creeping back in. Anger is something that I had once conquered.
I am not saying all this to say that I am defeated. Rather I have noticed these things and it is so interesting to me that I randomly picked up this movie and learned a lot about myself. It helps, everyone I think, to look in a mirror and see yourself. Will Hunting served as my mirror tonight. My prayer is that you would lift me up in prayer, and maybe, if you are feeling hungry, ask the Lord to hold up a mirror for you.
I put this movie on tonight as I reheated Taco Bell and made some decaf coffee. Dinner of champions I assure you. I really just wanted to hear the apples joke as told by Matt Damon. That scene happens something like 20-25 minutes into the movie so after that I was just a captive audience. I did not expect to learn so much about myself this time around in watching.
In short, I realized that, in a lot of ways, I really identify with the character Will Hunting. Granted i am no genius who sees equations and "just gets it". I identify more with his psyche.
At one point, Will and Robin Williams character are chatting at the park. This is directly following a stunning display of arrogance from Will and ended with Williams hand on Will's throat. Williams begins to lecture Will on the things he does not know. For instance, Williams says that he could ask Will about Art and Will would probably quote the latest thoughts published in the most recent books. But Williams points out that Will cannot describe the way the Sistine Chapel smells. Williams could ask about Love and Will might quote a sonnet. But Will does not know what it means to be truly known by someone. He does not know what it means to love someone so deeply that she could ruin his world with her eyes. I will come back to this. One more story.
The second scene comes a bit later in the movie after Will and Williams have been chatting about what Will wants from life. At this point, Will is receiving all sorts of job interviews with the most prestigious companies in the world. They all want his mind but Will does not want any of them. Williams keeps pressing Will with the question, "What do you want?" Will does not know, gets defensive and leaves. That night, Will is with the girl he has been seeing, Skylar, and they are in bed laughing and kissing and talking. Skylar asks Will to come to California with her when she starts school at Stanford. Will is scared and they begin to fight. His anger is explosive. Skylar is confessing her love to him. Will cannot stop seeing the negatives as he looks forward at their possible future together. She tells him that if he says that he does not love her she will leave him alone. As a viewer, it is obvious Will loves her. Will though says he does not and departs, leaving Skylar collapsed sobbing.
Will is afraid. Because of his fear he chooses a dead end life in South Boston rather than using his extraordinary mind to do something incredible. Because of his fear he is scared to love, to be vulnerable. This is what I identify with. There is a measured about of fear in my life that I am well aware exists. I even hide my fear in ways that are similar to Will Hunting though, obviously not identical because I do not possess his intellect. But I have a know it all attitude when it pertains to things I know or think I know. I tend to alienate those close to me, or at least I used to. Praise the Lord he has changed me some over the years. This fear is an issue though. I have a great calling just like Will does in the movie. My great calling is serving the Kingdom of God. I am a Warrior in His kingdom. (My name means warrior). But I am afraid. I have even seen the old anger creeping back in. Anger is something that I had once conquered.
I am not saying all this to say that I am defeated. Rather I have noticed these things and it is so interesting to me that I randomly picked up this movie and learned a lot about myself. It helps, everyone I think, to look in a mirror and see yourself. Will Hunting served as my mirror tonight. My prayer is that you would lift me up in prayer, and maybe, if you are feeling hungry, ask the Lord to hold up a mirror for you.
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