Monday, September 16, 2013

God of Miracles

Some times, when life gets a little hectic, we just need a miracle. Something small or large from the Lord that tells me that he hasn't forgotten me.  This morning I prayed for a miracle. I needed something. I was and am feeling more than a little bit under the weather. Being sick makes me tired and cranky like it does most people. Its also when I am sick that often I forget to include my Creator in how bad I feel. I sometimes think that the Lord does not have time to make sick Zach better.  He has got wars, revivals and the like to worry about. 

This morning I just needed something. A little bit of God. Just a shade of attention. A reminder of his providence and unfailing love because I am human. I forget that I forget that, per psalm 139, that even if I make my home in the depths of the ocean, He is there and his righteous right hand upholds me.  When I am sick an found wanting that my Savior is there, offering completion in Him.

There are times when my soul and my spirit cry out louder than my voice.  Today was one of those times.  The depth of my depravity overwhelms me sometimes.  There are mornings when I wake up and can barely face the day.  There are days when I do not feel like I can continue on in the everyday dredge that is life sometimes.  This morning though, the Lord offered me hope in the smallest way, but a way that meant the most. 

This morning I breathlessly called out to the Lord for a miracle.  My voice was not actually involved. My spirit, my very aching heart called  out to the Lord for a display of how good He is.  I was on the verge of packing the day in and trying again tomorrow. I went for lunch and, in what is a hazard of having to bank accounts, used the wrong card to pay for food. The transaction didn't go through and I was left standing there trying to figure out why my card didn't work.  Sixty seconds later, a friend that I did not see in line comes out of no where and pays for my food.  They wished me a good day and walked away. Now I sit here writing this, worshiping my God and thanking Him for thinking of me.  It was a small yet needed reminder that I am never far from Him. Even when I feel that way, like today, I just need to look up and see him providing for my needs. The Lord showed me my growth in desire for him.  My Father in heaven, in one act, breathed life into me. He whispered "I love you my son" to me and smiled. Warmth filled me as realization of what is true overtook the crushing lies of the evil one. Jesus loves me this I know; and I wanted to share it with you.

God Bless

Monday, September 9, 2013

Hopelessness Is A Lie

I woke up this morning with a splitting headache.  It actually began last night.  Have you ever been fed up with a situation? Or a person even? Maybe it is their problems that you are fed up with.  Far too often I have been fed up recently.  This bothers me a great deal because if I am short on compassion then there is a short circuit elsewhere. 

When this happens, often I just need a lesson in love from my ever steady and loving Father.  Other times, like this time, I have become so "me" centered that I no longer have the capacity for compassion on my friends. 

One of Satan's great tools is discouragement.  If he cannot disrupt your ministry as a believer directly, he will go the indirect route.  As believers, and really as humans, we thrive upon hope. Hope for a better life, an improved station in life, brighter circumstances, the fading of night and the coming light of morning.  Hope is central in each of our lives when it comes to loving and especially having compassion. Hope tells us that while things might be bad in our lives or another's life that we are involved in, through companionship, fellowship, and prayer, there is another side to the madness.  The example could be someone struggling with cancer.  But it could also be roommates fighting and being snarky.  Major or minor, hope can guide us home in these situations. 

Hopelessness though sneaks in life a thief in the night.  All it takes is feeling overwhelmed and loosing sight that the Lord is good. Just long enough for the idea of their being "no end" to take root, for us to begin to worry.  Over time we begin to believe the lie. The lie says,

 "No matter the problem, big or small, that person wont change, this situation is insurmountable. Don't bother with trying to help, no, don't even bother with praying.  God is not big enough for this."

It sounds ridiculous when spelled out but these very words have been spoken to us all at one point in time.  Of the above examples I have experienced both. I have checked out before.  Hopelessness is powerful and nearly claimed my life.  It steals love because love is full of purpose. It captures compassion because you are fed up with trying to love in the midst of hopelessness. 

The truth is that we must hold fast to hope and choose joy.  Having once been in a situation where I had been given a death date I can say that my God is bigger than death because that date passed over 4 years ago and I am still here writing these words.  He is bigger than roommate disagreements because the Lord turned that living situation into one of the favorite times in my college career. 

My prayer is that anyone who happens to read this will take a second and remember all that the Lord has done. Look back at His faithfulness and then look forward at the problems you are facing.  We must be like the people of Israel and be people who remember what the Lord has done.  His power is greater and if it was greater once it will be so again.  We must remember how great his love was once if we can then reciprocate it. Hopelessness is a lie. Tell it so and cast it out. Then walk in love and compassion as our Father does.

God Bless

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Things Left Unsaid

The major focus of this year, both privately (my life) and publically (Wesley) is making disciples. this has been for my entire walk with the Lord been the weakest and often most nonexistent part of my walk with the Lord. Where passion should be is selfish negligence.

Of course I care about other people and their souls and want for all of us to be in heaven together. But if I am honest, what I mean to say is that I hope you can find it salvation on your own.  The past two years have been a struggle spiritually.  I have seen a lot of growth and a lot of good. The old man is being put to death and the new me is rising from the ashes of sin. Making disciples though is rough stuff.  I don't like to be out of my comfort zone. 

The Lord, in his patient and loving grace, gently convicts me still.  He convicts me of my complacency. He ever so gently shows me how much his grace means to me when I forget myself.  Against his wise instruction I look to the right and the left after He told me to keep my eyes straight ahead. Like the shepherd rescuing me from the lion or bear though, he leads me back and celebrates my return. 

Today the Lord convicted me of all the times I have passed up sharing the Good News with my friends.  The things I have said. The bumbling excuses and evasions.  The paralyzing fear of rejection from someone I care deeply for.

I had a friend die my junior year of high school.  Zohaib Somani.  He had been a good friend for years at that point.  My partner in crime in whatever class we had together.  Those details are lost to time now.  I remember hearing about his death.  It happened late one night.  I woke up to the news. In what seemed like a blur, it had been a week. Even at his funeral I hadn't mourned his death.  The gut punch of reality telling me my time was shorter than I thought it was. What ate at me more than anything though, and eventually brought me to tears, was that I didn't know, for sure, if I would see him in heaven.  I was a very young Christian and had just assumed that Gods grace covered everything.  He was Muslim though.  Not a Christian.  I had heard him talk about God before, often in a derogatory manner and thought that as long I didn't laugh things were okay.  I blamed myself.

I know of course that I have no fault in the matter.  What I did have and still do have was and is conviction.  For months I thought of things I could've said to him.  Instead of pitiful silence when he blasphemed the God who saved my life I had what if I had told him how precious He is to me. What if I had told him the story of my life.  The Lord preformed a straight up biblical miracle in my life.  I knew a love that surpassed my wildest imagination.  These things were left unsaid.

Coming back to the present, these thoughts still stick with me.  I am not the perfect witness.  I still sin.  In the last 7 days I have struggled with lust, forgiveness, bitterness, anger, retaliation, gossip, pure thoughts...the list goes on.  I think of the people I want to know the Lord but have always avoided talking until it was easy.  The Lord always convicts me of my imperfections. Not to shame me but instead to show me how qualified I am.  I am not a sinner in His eyes. I am His beloved. His son. Heir to His throne.  My life is a miracle that does speaks for itself. I do not have to offer a defense for my life. All I need to do is trust and speak